Surviving One of THOSE Days

I'll admit it: I have a pretty good baby. She doesn't cry for no apparent reason, she smiles a lot and usually sleeps a consistent eight hours a night.

Yet, her sleeping mostly through the night doesn't mean I'm getting a lot of sleep. I stay up a little after I put her down for some "me" or "husband and me" time. And I'll wake up during the night as she kicks around in her crib (we call her the "Bucking Bronco").

Last night she got me good: by 7:30am I had gotten about five hours of interrupted sleep. I spent the next few hours trying to get a nap in. Not happening.

By this point in the morning, all of the feelings of grumpiness mixed with doubt about every facet of my life are in full force. I also haven't gone for a walk lately because it's been a muggy sauna outside for weeks. Choosing my best from limited options, I decide to try to pick myself up with a walk at Tysons Galleria, thinking it wouldn't be as crowded as the main mall. I'd also heard they had a nice food court.

Note to self: Tysons Galleria is not the place to go if you're feeling burdened by pregnancy weight and suffering from sleep deprivation. I arrived at lunch time and the place was bustling with women wearing stilettos in their 20s, no doubt from the nearby consulting firms. I was the only one wielding a stroller around the masses of people ordering food and waiting to pay. I felt out of place amidst the high end stores and well-dressed people.

I had just read an article about how to be happier with one's body after childbirth. It said to think about how you would talk positively about self image with your child, and talk to yourself that same way. I tried to keep that in mind as I heard the click-click of the high heels while I tried to savor and not wolf down my sandwich, waiting for the (finally!) sleeping baby in my stroller to wake up to feed on demand.

The score for today: Eleanor 1, Mom 0. But I will rise again! Serenity now!

Seeking Balance Part 2

I headed over to East Meets West today again (this time with my neighbors!) to check out "Mom and Me" yoga. I expected it to be part play, part workout. I'm glad I had the right expectations for the hour-long session.

Ellie did great in the first half - smiling, cooing. And she was loud! I had THAT baby in the class - the one that makes all the noise. I tried not to get all worked up about her as a distraction. Hadn't the teacher said that motherhood is about managing distractions? That's true, but, um, I'd like to stretch a little, please.

Well, there was no soothing her so I quickly realized that my yoga practice was effectively over for the day, and began the ritual walking her around. Before the final relaxing pose for the last five minutes of class, the teacher offered to hold Ellie so I could lay like a lump on the floor, reflecting on my practice that wasn't. Gladly handing her off to so willing a watcher, I did manage to get in five minutes of peace while Ellie fell asleep in the teacher's arms.

Fast-forward: Ellie is still napping, and I've had a peaceful lunch! So I didn't stretch too much, but I did gain a little me time this morning. Lesson learned: yoga during the start of nap time = little yoga time.

Seeking Balance

I've been doing yoga for about eight years now - started right after the stress of grad school wore me out! Ha! Such "stress" pales in comparison to what I face now that I'm a mom. Yet, maybe it's not so much "stress" as it is imbalance. Or rather, the effort of seeking balance.

I went to prenatal yoga classes at East Meets West yoga on Church Street throughout the long winter. My previous yoga studio was in DC and when I worked downtown, I was always schlepping my clothes, mat, purse and laptop to the studio, arriving frenzied for the practice. So being just a few minutes drive from East Meets West is a nice change - I hop in the car and go. The studio is decorated with tributes to Eastern philosophies. I've had a good experience with the classes and instructors there.

Once I was given the all-clear to exercise again after the baby, I headed back to the studio for some sorely needed stretching. But I am out of shape and it's been difficult. On the one hand, I am proud of myself for picking it back up and trying to regain some semblance of my body's abilities. On the other, I am so sleep-weary that getting through the class is a real chore. It also doesn't help that I feel more out of shape and slower than anyone there. I struggle through the downward dog poses, and the plank positions that demand that my abs be harder, work better.

Ironically, the poses I can actually do the best are the balancing poses on one leg. Ironic because everything seems so out of balance these days as I adjust to this new life. My time versus family time, sleep versus awake, resting versus exercising. Where's the balance of trying to be healthy and actually being healthy? Do we give ourselves points just for trying, or do we need to reach a goal of a certain level of health or fitness before we can celebrate achievement?